and make it last.

 

I feel like i should give justice to my journal, being it vacant for quite some time now; which is quite odd because i know this is the best time for me start thinking out loud.

but in the meantime, i have to post this.

Some people try to make a big deal out of small situations, and that pisses me off. If I try to do something, it's just gonna send them the message that I'm totally affected by it, which is exactly the reason why they are doing it in the first place. The only option left in this case is to stay quiet and smile, which doesn't feel good under any circumstance because it sends a message to the person at fault that you're totally okay with it (which makes it look that he has triumphed, but is not totally the case). I just hope karma gets him badly.

cheers to another successful alcohol-filled night!

one down.

another one coming up.

oooh im soo excited. even though im still feeling a bit nauseous from last night.

vodka + red horse = blech.

after i woke up i still had that feeling of intolerable nauseousness. aaargh. the urge of wanting to puke (sorry for lack of better word)  is still haunting me.

la salle versus mapua. wahaha. grabe, ibang klaseng labanan ito. uaap crossing over ncaa. at hindi sha basketball. hehe.

hmm.. ano kaya next?

la salle versus letran? hmm why not? (winks at jenx) hehe.

ah basta before that, mag-je-je cafe ba muna (digi cafe). hehe.

jeng: he's not worth it. 

jenx: tama si lala, pagupit ka na ng hair mo. ang haba na. wahaha 

maemae: miss ladybug? haha

tiny: 364 days na lng, birthday mo na ulet! i'm soo excited! cant wait hehe!

lala: ahem! ayan ka nanaman ha... 

and to all others: i had fun last night!

with special mention to:

red horse: you were fine.

vodka: traydor ka!!!

jose cuervo: i miss u na! hehe

p.s.

happy birthday mama mary!

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mababaliw na ko!!!!!!!!!!

after all this time, it is still you that i have in my mind...

"I can hide the pain that i feel & make others believe that i can move on, but i can never deny the truth to myself that the person who failed me is still the person i'll always choose to love."

and you will continue to be the one until i take my last breath here on earth.

---

sigh.

"you never loved me, you just cared."

---

sigh.

You’ve hurt me in more ways than one...

and Only God knows how much I’ve cried...

I’m trying to focus, but the path ahead of me is just way too blurred...

I’m finding it hard to go on with my life without you...

I’m not asking for too much...

I just want to be happy...

I just want you in my life.

I never asked for this feeling
I never thought I would fall
I never knew how I felt
Till the day you were gone
I was lost
I never asked for red roses
I wasn't looking for love
Somehow I let my emotions take hold
And guess what all at once
I'm in love

Chorus:
Oh I miss you so much
I long for your love
It's scares me
Cuz MY HEART GETS SO WEAK
That I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE
How can you take things so easily
Baby why aren't you missing me?

WHY DID I ACT LIKE YOU MATTERED?
It was silly of me to believe
That if I just opened my heart
Things would come naturally
Jokes on me (yeah)
I did not ask for love letters
So why did you give them to me
How could I let your intentions
Get hold over me
So in love
So naive (oh baby)

Chorus
And oh how I hate what you have done
Made me fall so deep in love
Got no cure
You're the only one I want
That I love oh baby

Chorus
Baby why aren't you missing me?
BABY WHY AREN'T YOU MISSING ME?

***

sigh.

i just want to apologize to all my friends for being so distant these past few weeks...

u have to understand, what i'm going through is not easy.

to the five people i trust, i know you all understand me as much as i understand myself.

it's hard to look happy outside, when deep down inside, you're not...

dont ask me why!

coz i can give you a million reasons why i should hate this world

some people are just sooo fucking unfair

i've had enough of all the shit this life has been giving me

enough.